HMS Cockchafer - an exposition

-So, tell me again, why are we speeding up this river?

-Well, you see, we are the British Navy, and it is our duty to protect the shipping of the British and other allied nations to and from the treaty ports here.

-So we are in control of this area?

-No, we can only protect the trade between the treaty ports. Anything that isn’t going to the treaty ports are fair game for anyone. This is all Sichuan province, and the countryside is ruled by warlords. The guy in charge around here is a man called Yang Sen, and he is a bloody lunatic they say. He apparently thinks he can find immortality by eating gold or something.

-Does it work?

-Beats me, but if what I heard at Madame Xu’s up in Chonqing is anything to go by….He is in very good shape.

-Oh….

-Anyway, we are not to bother him, and he is not to bother the shipping and then he can bother bandits, rebels and other warlords and we can happily speed up the river.

-So why are we speeding up this river?

-We are speeding up because our captain has told us to. The captain said that our guest is a close relative of pig face, but to be fair, I doubt she is, she is much to good-looking.

-Pig Face?

-You know…. Liu Xiang, the governor of Chongqing? Anyway, apparently there is a problem up-river with some dignitary and we have to sort it out.

-Hang on, can you see that?

- What is it? Some sort of plane? An airship? What is it doing?

-Shit!